It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached.
How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple
Dogs are colorblind
oh my god
9:59 pm • 28 August 2014 • 143,547 notes
Unfriendly reminder that in America it’s reasonable to say an unarmed black kid deserved to be shot six times because he might have robbed a convenience store, but a white kid shouldn’t be kicked off the high school football team just because he violently raped a girl.
9:58 pm • 28 August 2014 • 150,655 notes
I actually saw this on tv the other day. Canada may have shitty television but our PSAs are wonderful.
9:58 pm • 28 August 2014 • 326,839 notes
And one whacking great kick up the backside for the Silence! You just raised an army against yourself! And now, for a thousand generations, you’ll be ordering them to destroy you every day. How fast can you run? Because today’s the day the human race throw you off their planet. They won’t even know they’re doing it. I think, quite possibly, the word you’re looking for right now is “Oops”.
(Source: winterfel, via a-study-in-timey-wimey)
9:57 pm • 28 August 2014 • 1,519 notes
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
9:54 pm • 28 August 2014 • 106,689 notes
i really want to make ‘cool beans’ a thing again
what the hell is cool about beans
idk about you but these beans look cool as fuck to me
3:56 pm • 28 August 2014 • 14,183 notes
What do strippers do when they’re on their period
What do female astronauts do when they’re on their period
what do homeless women do when they get their period
what did tribeswomen do when they got their period
what do fictional characters do when they get their period
We never even solved the first one
i thought it was supposed to be the lead-up to a joke
(Source: littleladylouis, via sqvidvvard)
3:55 pm • 28 August 2014 • 179,153 notes